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Random quote from Borat -- no html parsing
Turns out smacie.com has a text file containing every single one of the borat quotes, each one on a newline. This makes it very convenient, as this can be done without any sed-parsing, and uses less bandwitdth! Note that borate quotes are quite offensive, much more so than "fortunes-off"!

display a smiling smiley if the command succeeded and a sad smiley if the command failed
you could save the code between if and fi to a shell script named smiley.sh with the first argument as and then do a smiley.sh to see if the command succeeded. a bit needless but who cares ;)

Bruteforce dm-crypt using shell expansion
Lost your luks passphrase? You can always bruteforce from the command line. See the sample output, a simple command for the "pass" word, using combinations of upper/lowercase or number replacement. The generated combinations are: for a in {p,P}{a,A,4}{s,S,5}{s,S,5}; do echo $a; done pass pasS pas5 paSs paSS paS5 ...

Read all the S.M.A.R.T. data from a hard disk drive
This is to pull all the saved S.M.A.R.T. (Self-Monitoring, Analysis and Reporting Technology) information from a hard drive. This can give you an idea of the nature and extent of an issue on a failing hard drive.

defragment files
Thanks to flatcap for optimizing this command. This command takes advantage of the ext4 filesystem's resistance to fragmentation. By using this command, files that were previously fragmented will be copied / deleted / pasted essentially giving the filesystem another chance at saving the file contiguously. ( unlike FAT / NTFS, the *nix filesystem always try to save a file without fragmenting it ) My command only effects the home directory and only those files with your R/W (read / write ) permissions. There are two issues with this command: 1. it really won't help, it works, but linux doesn't suffer much (if any ) fragmentation and even fragmented files have fast I/O 2. it doesn't discriminate between fragmented and non-fragmented files, so a large ~/ directory with no fragments will take almost as long as an equally sized fragmented ~/ directory The benefits i managed to work into the command: 1. it only defragments files under 16mb, because a large file with fragments isn't as noticeable as a small file that's fragmented, and copy/ delete/ paste of large files would take too long 2. it gives a nice countdown in the terminal so you know how far how much progress is being made and just like other defragmenters you can stop at any time ( use ctrl+c ) 3. fast! i can defrag my ~/ directory in 11 seconds thanks to the ramdrive powering the command's temporary storage bottom line: 1. its only an experiment, safe ( i've used it several times for testing ), but probably not very effective ( unless you somehow have a fragmentation problem on linux ). might be a placebo for recent windows converts looking for a defrag utility on linux and won't accept no for an answer 2. it's my first commandlinefu command

auto terminal title change
above line in .bash_profile will give you window title in putty or terminal client when you login to your remote server

tar a directory and send it to netcat
tar's directory and sends to netcat listening on port 10000 On the client end: netcat [server ip] 10000 | tar xfvz - This will send it over the network and extract it on the clients machine.

Which processes are listening on a specific port (e.g. port 80)
swap out "80" for your port of interest. Can use port number or named ports e.g. "http"

Which processes are listening on a specific port (e.g. port 80)
swap out "80" for your port of interest. Can use port number or named ports e.g. "http"

get some information about the parent process from a given process


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