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Random quote from Borat

Terminal - Random quote from Borat
curl -s http://smacie.com/randomizer/borat.html | sed -nE "s# *<td valign=\"top\"><big><big><big><font face=\"Comic Sans MS\">(.*)</font></big></big></big></td>#\1#p"
2012-07-18 21:31:43
User: phymata
Functions: sed
1
Random quote from Borat

I improved a bit on the original by only using sed and extracting the quote with a matching group.

Use -nE for sed on Mac OSX

Use -nr for sed on Linux.

Warning! The quotes from Borat are definitely offensive.

Alternatives

There are 2 alternatives - vote for the best!

Terminal - Alternatives
curl -s http://bash.org/?random1|grep -oE "<p class=\"quote\">.*</p>.*</p>"|grep -oE "<p class=\"qt.*?</p>"|sed -e 's/<\/p>/\n/g' -e 's/<p class=\"qt\">//g' -e 's/<p class=\"qt\">//g'|perl -ne 'use HTML::Entities;print decode_entities($_),"\n"'|head -1
2009-05-07 13:13:21
User: Iftah
Functions: grep head perl sed
7

bash.org is a collection of funny quotes from IRC.

WARNING: some of the quotes contain "adult" jokes... may be embarrassing if your boss sees them...

Thanks to Chen for the idea and initial version!

This script downloads a page with random quotes, filters the html to retrieve just one liners quotes and outputs the first one.

Just barely under the required 255 chars :)

Improvment:

You can replace the head -1 at the end by:

awk 'length($0)>0 {printf( $0 "\n%%\n" )}' > bash_quotes.txt

which will separate the quotes with a "%" and place it in the file.

and then:

strfile bash_quotes.txt

which will make the file ready for the fortune command

and then you can:

fortune bash_quotes.txt

which will give you a random quote from those in the downloaded file.

I download a file periodically and then use the fortune in .bashrc so I see a funny quote every time I open a terminal.

curl -s "http://smacie.com/randomizer/borat.txt" | shuf -n 1 -
2014-12-16 04:18:48
User: benjabean1
2

Turns out smacie.com has a text file containing every single one of the borat quotes, each one on a newline. This makes it very convenient, as this can be done without any sed-parsing, and uses less bandwitdth!

Note that borate quotes are quite offensive, much more so than "fortunes-off"!

Know a better way?

If you can do better, submit your command here.

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