Random quote from Borat

curl -s http://smacie.com/randomizer/borat.html | sed -nE "s# *<td valign=\"top\"><big><big><big>(.*)</big></big></big></td>#\1#p"

I improved a bit on the original by only using sed and extracting the quote with a matching group. Use -nE for sed on Mac OSX Use -nr for sed on Linux. Warning! The quotes from Borat are definitely offensive.

Sample Output

My country send me to United States to make movie-film. Please, come and see my film. If it not success, I will be execute.

By: phymata

2012-07-18 21:31:43

sed funny fortune quotes borat

2 Alternatives + Submit Alt

Random line from bash.org (funny IRC quotes)

bash.org is a collection of funny quotes from IRC. WARNING: some of the quotes contain "adult" jokes... may be embarrassing if your boss sees them... Thanks to Chen for the idea and initial version! This script downloads a page with random quotes, filters the html to retrieve just one liners quotes and outputs the first one. Just barely under the required 255 chars :) Improvment: You can replace the head -1 at the end by: awk 'length($0)>0 {printf( $0 "\n%%\n" )}' > bash_quotes.txt which will separate the quotes with a "%" and place it in the file. and then: strfile bash_quotes.txt which will make the file ready for the fortune command and then you can: fortune bash_quotes.txt which will give you a random quote from those in the downloaded file. I download a file periodically and then use the fortune in .bashrc so I see a funny quote every time I open a terminal. Show Sample Output
This is sample output - yours may be different.
```
<Lev> have you SEEN the people who wear the I LOVE LINUX T-shirts....that does more damage to the OS than a billion microsoft blue-screens
```
7

curl -s http://bash.org/?random1|grep -oE ".*.*"|grep -oE ""|sed -e 's/<\/p>/\n/g' -e 's///g' -e 's///g'|perl -ne 'use HTML::Entities;print decode_entities($_),"\n"'|head -1

Iftah · 2009-05-07 13:13:21 17
Random quote from Borat -- no html parsing

Turns out smacie.com has a text file containing every single one of the borat quotes, each one on a newline. This makes it very convenient, as this can be done without any sed-parsing, and uses less bandwitdth! Note that borate quotes are quite offensive, much more so than "fortunes-off"! Show Sample Output
This is sample output - yours may be different.
```
(Insert [highly offensive] borat quote)
```
2

curl -s "http://smacie.com/randomizer/borat.txt" | shuf -n 1 -

benjabean1 · 2014-12-16 04:18:48 11

What Others Think

rahimhh21 · 110 weeks and 5 days ago

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yeneba6574 · 16 weeks and 5 days ago

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