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Random line from bash.org (funny IRC quotes)

Terminal - Random line from bash.org (funny IRC quotes)
curl -s http://bash.org/?random1|grep -oE "<p class=\"quote\">.*</p>.*</p>"|grep -oE "<p class=\"qt.*?</p>"|sed -e 's/<\/p>/\n/g' -e 's/<p class=\"qt\">//g' -e 's/<p class=\"qt\">//g'|perl -ne 'use HTML::Entities;print decode_entities($_),"\n"'|head -1
2009-05-07 13:13:21
User: Iftah
Functions: grep head perl sed
Random line from bash.org (funny IRC quotes)

bash.org is a collection of funny quotes from IRC.

WARNING: some of the quotes contain "adult" jokes... may be embarrassing if your boss sees them...

Thanks to Chen for the idea and initial version!

This script downloads a page with random quotes, filters the html to retrieve just one liners quotes and outputs the first one.

Just barely under the required 255 chars :)


You can replace the head -1 at the end by:

awk 'length($0)>0 {printf( $0 "\n%%\n" )}' > bash_quotes.txt

which will separate the quotes with a "%" and place it in the file.

and then:

strfile bash_quotes.txt

which will make the file ready for the fortune command

and then you can:

fortune bash_quotes.txt

which will give you a random quote from those in the downloaded file.

I download a file periodically and then use the fortune in .bashrc so I see a funny quote every time I open a terminal.


There are 2 alternatives - vote for the best!

Terminal - Alternatives
curl -s "http://smacie.com/randomizer/borat.txt" | shuf -n 1 -
2014-12-16 04:18:48
User: benjabean1

Turns out smacie.com has a text file containing every single one of the borat quotes, each one on a newline. This makes it very convenient, as this can be done without any sed-parsing, and uses less bandwitdth!

Note that borate quotes are quite offensive, much more so than "fortunes-off"!

curl -s http://smacie.com/randomizer/borat.html | sed -nE "s# *<td valign=\"top\"><big><big><big><font face=\"Comic Sans MS\">(.*)</font></big></big></big></td>#\1#p"
2012-07-18 21:31:43
User: phymata
Functions: sed

I improved a bit on the original by only using sed and extracting the quote with a matching group.

Use -nE for sed on Mac OSX

Use -nr for sed on Linux.

Warning! The quotes from Borat are definitely offensive.

Know a better way?

If you can do better, submit your command here.

What others think

Well done... hopefully will make me funny doing some serious stuff :D


Comment by bassu 341 weeks and 5 days ago

Btw, there is a syntax error in $awk 'length($0)>0 {printf( $0 "\n%%\n" )}') > bash_quotes.txt

it should be:

awk 'length($0)>0 {printf( $0 "\n%%\n" )}' > bash_quotes.txt

happy kidding bash ;)

Comment by bassu 341 weeks and 5 days ago

With lynx -dump all the html code is erased from your input. I thin it's easier.

Then you have to deal with paragraphs, a paragraph is a line with just spaces : sed "s/ *$//"

Then your select some paragraphs with a pattern, /girl/ for instance.

links -dump http://bash.org/?random1 \

| sed 's/ *$//' \

| sed -e '/./{H;$!d;}' -e 'x;/girl/!d;'

But I cannot print paragraph number one or N, maybe with XML tools ?

Comment by flux 341 weeks and 4 days ago

[code]links -dump http://bash.org/\?random1 | sed 's/\#.*/%/' | sed '1,/Add Quote \/ ModApp \/ Search /d' | sed '/Home \/ Latest /,$d' | sed 's/^ *//' >> bashorg.fortune[/code]

make it a loop and there you start building your fortune

Comment by talkiwalki 341 weeks and 3 days ago

oops, sorry

links -dump http://bash.org/\?random1 | sed 's/\#.*/%/' | sed '1,/Add Quote \/ ModApp \/ Search /d' | sed '/Home \/ Latest /,$d' | sed 's/^ *//' >> bashorg.fortune
Comment by talkiwalki 341 weeks and 3 days ago

Pipe it through cowsay!


Thanks for this!

Comment by TheShadowFog 211 weeks ago

Your point of view

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