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Random quote from Borat -- no html parsing
Turns out smacie.com has a text file containing every single one of the borat quotes, each one on a newline. This makes it very convenient, as this can be done without any sed-parsing, and uses less bandwitdth! Note that borate quotes are quite offensive, much more so than "fortunes-off"!

ls -qaltr # list directory in chronological order, most recent files at end of list
I find it very handy to be able to quickly see the most recently modified/created files in a directory. Note that the "q" option will reveal any files with non-printable characters in their filename.

randomize hostname and mac address, force dhcp renew. (for anonymous networking)
this string of commands will release your dhcp address, change your mac address, generate a new random hostname and then get a new dhcp lease.

Which processes are listening on a specific port (e.g. port 80)
swap out "80" for your port of interest. Can use port number or named ports e.g. "http"

sort monthwise
sort command can sort month-wise (first three letters of each month). See the sample output for clarification. Sorting Stable ? NO. Take note if that matters to you. Sample output suggests that sort performs unstable sorting (see the relative order of two 'feb' entries).

Number of CPU's in a system
This appears to do the same. Utility is verified to be present on Ubuntu and OpenSuse out-of-the-box.

Find usb device in realtime
Using this command you can track a moment when usb device was attached.

Shell function to exit script with error in exit status and print optional message to stderr
USAGE: die ERRNUM [MESSAGE]

Redirect incoming traffic to SSH, from a port of your choosing
Stuck behind a restrictive firewall at work, but really jonesing to putty home to your linux box for some colossal cave? Goodness knows I was...but the firewall at work blocked all outbound connections except for ports 80 and 443. (Those were wide open for outbound connections.) So now I putty over port 443 and have my linux box redirect it to port 22 (the SSH port) before it routes it internally. So, my specific command would be: $iptables -t nat -A PREROUTING -p tcp --dport 443 -j REDIRECT --to-ports 22 Note that I use -A to append this command to the end of the chain. You could replace that with -I to insert it at the beginning (or at a specific rulenum). My linux box is running slackware, with a kernel from circa 2001. Hopefully the mechanics of iptables haven't changed since then. The command is untested under any other distros or less outdated kernels. Of course, the command should be easy enough to adapt to whatever service on your linux box you're trying to reach by changing the numbers (and possibly changing tcp to udp, or whatever). Between putty and psftp, however, I'm good to go for hours of time-killing.


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