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listen to an offensive fortune
or replace "espeak" with "festival --tts" if you like festival better when your buddy leaves his computer unlocked use "crontab" or "at" to play at some time that would be most embarassing (during his next sales presentation) $ echo "fortune -o | espeak" | at now + 30 minutes of course you can exclude the "-o" for non offensive fortunes, or if you don't have offensive fortunes installed

Get number of users on a minecraft server
I'm flat-out surprised that minecraft directory services require servers install multiple modifications to their server code, when the directories could fetch this information on their own.

Yet Another Large Screen Clock

See how many % of your memory firefox is using

Convert seconds to [DD:][HH:]MM:SS
Converts any number of seconds into days, hours, minutes and seconds. sec2dhms() { declare -i SS="$1" D=$(( SS / 86400 )) H=$(( SS % 86400 / 3600 )) M=$(( SS % 3600 / 60 )) S=$(( SS % 60 )) [ "$D" -gt 0 ] && echo -n "${D}:" [ "$H" -gt 0 ] && printf "%02g:" "$H" printf "%02g:%02g\n" "$M" "$S" }

Pretty Print a simple csv in the command line
Will handle pretty much all types of CSV Files. The ^M character is typed on the command line using Ctrl-V Ctrl-M and can be replaced with any character that does not appear inside the CSV. Tips for simpler CSV files: * If newlines are not placed within a csv cell then you can replace `map(repr, r)` with r

Exit mc with 2 keystrokes
For those who like to hit instead of typing "exit" to leave the shell and find it annoying that it doesn't work in Midnight Commander, just press to switch to the subshell and now you can leave with

Convert seconds to [DD:][HH:]MM:SS
Converts any number of seconds into days, hours, minutes and seconds. sec2dhms() { declare -i SS="$1" D=$(( SS / 86400 )) H=$(( SS % 86400 / 3600 )) M=$(( SS % 3600 / 60 )) S=$(( SS % 60 )) [ "$D" -gt 0 ] && echo -n "${D}:" [ "$H" -gt 0 ] && printf "%02g:" "$H" printf "%02g:%02g\n" "$M" "$S" }

Recursively remove Mac . (dot) files
Searches from present dir forward and removes all Mac generated . (dot) files.

Set laptop display brightness
Run as root. Path may vary depending on laptop model and video card (this was tested on an Acer laptop with ATI HD3200 video). $ cat /proc/acpi/video/VGA/LCD/brightness to discover the possible values for your display.


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